pse -- poly southeast

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This list is a discussion area for people interested in polyamory. People share experiences they have had and talk about how they deal with issues such as intimacy, sexuality, scheduling, jealousy, children, and long distance relationships. There is also a certain level of "fluff" - social conversation that doesn't have anything directly to do with polyamory. The number of messages posted varies a lot - sometimes a week or two will go by with no messages and other times there will be a day or two when there are twenty messages a day. This list is not a "hook up" service. It may happen occasionally that people meet through the list and develop a relationship, but that is not the purpose of the list. If you are new to mailing lists, here is how it works: Subscribers can send messages to the list address. Each message is then forwarded through email to all subscribers. This list is run a little differently from others you may subscribe to. Rather than have an automatic subscription mechanism, subscribe requests are processed by hand. A subscribe request has to contain a short introduction. This can be a couple of sentences or a couple of paragraphs - just enough to give us some idea of who you are and what your interest is. The most helpful introductions have a name, sex, and city or area to remember when reading your later messages. (Some people use their real names, others do not. If you don't want your real name on the list, you will have to check your email settings carefully, since most will include your real name in the From header.) If you have a polyamorous experience or question that you would like everyone on the list to know about or respond to, feel free to mention it. Again, the introduction is not supposed to be a personals ad. Please do not send an introduction that discusses your physical attributes or describes who you are looking for in a new relationship. Your introduction will be posted to the list when you are subscribed so everyone will know who just arrived on the list. This mechanism is intended to avoid two types of problems people have with mailing lists. One is that malicious people sometimes sign other people up for mailing lists, sometimes hundreds of them, to cause general confusion. The other problem is a little more subtle. On most lists you don't really know whether your message is going to the five people who frequently post messages or to hundreds of people who just read and never post. This uncertainty can make it difficult to know what to share. We would rather have a list where people have some idea who they are talking to when they post. So, please type a short introduction in our contact form and you should soon be subscribed. My introduction is included below as an example. This is longer than most introductions - the usual length is a few sentences to a couple of paragraphs. Hi, I am maintaining the poly southeast mailing list. I am now living and working in Decatur (in the Atlanta metro area) writing software for studying rivers - we figure out where floods could happen, how much irrigation water there will be, how much pollution is there, that sort of thing. In retrospect, I had my first clue that polyamory might work for me back in high school. My first girlfriend kissed another boy. She felt very guilty about it and did not tell me until several weeks later. My reaction was to feel sorry that she had felt so guilty for so long. I didn't feel upset or angry at her in a jealous way as she had expected. In college I read Heinlein's science fiction books that discuss some kinds of polyamory. Although much of it was appealing, I thought that polyamory was as much a fantasy as time travel. Only later, in grad school at Georgia Tech, did I meet actual people who were interested in real relationships where monogamy was not always expected. In relationships, even when everyone involved knows who everyone else is dating, I have found that it is quite difficult to make sure everyone is comfortable with how things are going. Communication is very important and it is usually harder than you think it should be, especially when it is most needed. Mark Gray